C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
“Friendship is – in a sense not at all derogatory to it – the least natural of the loves; the least instinctive, organic, biological, gregarious and necessary…Without Eros [i.e. sensual or physical love] none of us would have been begotten and without Affection [i.e. romantic or familial love] none of us would have been reared; but we can live and breed without Friendship. The [human] species, biologically considered, has no need of” (58).
“Friendship arises…when two or more of the [same] companions discover that they have in common some insight or interest or even taste which the others do not share and which, till that moment, each believed to be his own unique treasure (or burden)” (65).
“In [Friendship] love, as Emerson said, Do you love me? means Do you see the same truth? – Or at least, ‘Do you care about the same truth?’…We picture lovers face to face but Friends side by side; their eyes look ahead…That is why those pathetic people who simply ‘want friends’ can never make any. The very condition of having Friends is that we should want something else besides Friends. Where the truthful answer to the question Do you see the same truth? would be ‘I see nothing and I don’t care about the truth; I only want a Friend,’ no Friendship can arise…There would be nothing for Friendship to be about; and Friendship must be about something…Those who have nothing can share nothing; those who are going nowhere can have no fellow-travelers” (66).
D.A. Carson, Love in Hard Places
Ideally, however, the church itself is not made up of natural ‘friends.’ It is made up of natural enemies. What binds us together is not common education, common race, common levels, common politics, common nationality, common accents, common jobs, or anything else of that sort. Christians come together, not because they form a natural collocation, but because they have all been saved by Jesus Christ and owe him a common allegiance. In light of this common allegiance, in the light of the fact that they have all been loved by Jesus himself, they commit themselves to doing what he says – and he commands them to love one another. In this light, they are a band of natural enemies who love one another for Jesus’ sake” (61).
John Locke, The De-Voicing of Society
“From a physical standpoint, a community is a collection of individuals, but the residents of a true community act like members of something that is larger than themselves” (131).